


Consequences

by Kr1411, Multi_FandomWeirdo16



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Whump, Flashpoint AU, M/M, Not the Undertaking, Suicide Attempt, Tommy died because of Flashpoint, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-02-16 20:11:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/pseuds/Kr1411, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi_FandomWeirdo16/pseuds/Multi_FandomWeirdo16
Summary: Barry knew everything was different when he came back, it was inevitable. But what if more happened than he thought? And when things got taken too far, what if he couldn’t be the same again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: When finals come around, one tends to type faster and get things out quicker.

Barry was shaking. He’d changed the timeline… again. He knew he shouldn’t have. But he had been hurting. His dad was gone, his mom was gone… Everything just hurt so badly. Not even Oliver was able to help him. Which was bad because Oliver always made things better.

 

But now Barry’s ruined everything.

 

John had a son instead of a daughter.

 

Caitlin had powers.

 

Cisco’s brother, Dante, was dead.

 

And so was Tommy. 

 

Oliver’s childhood best friend was now dead because of him. It was his fault and Oliver would never forgive him.

 

To add to this, He and Oliver weren’t even together anymore. Because he decided to change the timeline, Evil Oliver never took him. He and Oliver never connected and never dated. So Barry really would be all alone.

 

Barry was panicking. He hadn’t meant to screw up this badly. But he did. He talked to Felicity because the blonde tech always helped him… she told him he needed to tell Oliver, that he would understand… but Barry knew he wouldn’t.

Yet here he was, walking into the ‘arrow cave’. He could feel a panic attack forming in the pit of his stomach. He peaked around the corner and saw Oliver violently beating a punching bag. The look of pure anger and sadness in his eyes had Barry’s stomach knotting with guilt. He was shaking and he was going to turn away and leave but Oliver’s voice stopped him.

 

“I saw you Barry. What do you want.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

 

Barry’s eyes felt wet and he had to remember that he did this. He had to accept that Oliver was hurting because of him and that this was something he needed to do.

 

He walked back into the room to see Oliver wiping his face with a towel.

“If Central City is in trouble, you’re gonna have to wait. I have other things to deal with.”

 

Barry looked down and shivered from the coldness in Oliver’s voice.

“Um..N-No… I uh.. I needed to talk to you…” 

His eyes were staring at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. He didn’t notice the shift in Oliver’s eyes. They went from cold and angry to worried and sympathetic.

“What is it, Barry?” 

Barry felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. “Oliver… I… I messed up… I messed up big time. And I know there isn’t anyway you are ever going to forgive me… Just… Just please hear me out.”

 

Barry continued to stare at the ground but when no reply came, he continued.

 

“After Zoom killed my dad… I changed the timeline… I went back and saved my mom… I f-fixed it but at the time… I didn’t realize how badly I messed up. I-I know I shouldn’t have. I know you all told me not to time travel… but I-I did and I fucked up. Caitlin has powers, John has a son instead of a daughter, Cisco’s brother is dead… all of this because of me… a-and… I… Tommy-”

 

“What about Tommy?” Oliver’s voice was back to angry. Barry flinched and this time he couldn’t help the tears.

 

“Cisco’s brother is dead because of me a-and...so is Tommy...It’s my fault...It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry… Oliver I-I never knew… I didn’t mean to…” He was hugging himself and sobbing violently. Oliver stood in front of him, stone faced with his fists clenched at his sides.

Oliver had to replay that part in his mind because at first it didn’t register. But the more he thought about what Barry said, the angrier he got.

“You mean to tell me,” He began in a way-to-calm voice, that told Barry to get ready to run. “That Tommy died… because you couldn’t hold back your selfish tendencies?” He growled the last part of his sentence.

Barry swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked at Oliver. His eyes were dark with pure, unbridled rage and his muscles were tense and slightly shaking. Barry shrunk back out of fear alone. Which wasn’t really so much at the fact he’d angered Oliver. It was just that at that moment, All Barry saw was Evil Oliver.

“O-Oliver… I… I didn’t k-know… I didn’t-”

“You didn’t think.” Oliver spat. Neither men noticed Felicity standing to the side, watching and waiting to see if she needed to intervene. “That’s your problem, Barry!” He spat his name like venom “You never think! You always rush in head first and screw up everyone else’s lives! You get people killed and you keep making messes wherever you go!”

Oliver was pissed at this point. He was seeing nothing but Barry and that was his target of anger.

Barry held up his hands “Oliver I… I didn’t m-mean-”

Oliver let out a growl that sounded much darker than it was probably meant to. “You never ‘mean’ to, Barry! You just do because damn the rest! How many other people are going to suffer because of you?!” He spat. “People keep dying because of you. Ronnie, Eddie, Your parents?! who else Barry?! Who else is going to die because you!?” He snarled.

Barry was shaking and on the verge of a panic attack as he stared up at Oliver. Did… Did Oliver always think of him like this? Was his anger finally revealing his true feelings? This was painful, even more so because it was known to everyone but Oliver that Barry had always held Oliver’s opinion above anyone else’s…. It was also now a secret to everyone but Felicity that he was in love with Oliver, so to hear this from him… it… it was shattering something inside of him.

“Ollie please-” 

He barely had time to process a fist connecting with his jaw as he was thrown to the ground, letting out a yell of pain. He caught himself with one hand as the other held his throbbing jaw. Oliver had just struck him… He refused to pick himself up or to look up at Oliver, not doubting that he’d find anything but pure hate and anger.

But what he wasn’t expecting was what Oliver said next.

“You aren’t a hero…. Heroes don’t kill people…. You… you’re a monster.” He spat, breaking what was left of the shell of his heart.

“Get out of here, the next time I see you, I won’t hesitate to put an arrow through your chest.” Was the last warning he heard before he pushed himself off of the floor and sped out the door. He didn’t stop back at Joe’s or at STAR labs. He just kept running. There were unshed tears in his eyes and collapsed somewhere in the middle of nowhere as he tried to catch his breath. Loud, broken sobs tore from his throat and left his chest on fire as he struggled to breathe. Oliver hated him…. Cisco hated him…

_ ‘Everyone hates you’ _

A voice spat in his head.

_ ‘Not a hero’ _

_ ‘A monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Killer’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Killer’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Killer’ _

_ ‘Killer’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘Monster’ _

_ ‘MONSTER’ _

Barry screamed as another sob tore through him and he curled in on himself. It started to rain down hard. But Barry didn’t care. He lied there, curled up and bracing the freezing rain as tears spilled down his cheek and an empty thud repeated itself in his chest.

He had already been hating himself. But being hated by two of who he considered his closest friends… by Oliver? A man he’d loved. A man that had once loved him back…? That he couldn’t handle. Things had been going so well…He had allowed himself to hope and all because of his selfish greed, he ruined it.

He hadn’t even realized he had cried himself to sleep. Oh well. Maybe he would wake up and this could be one of his horrible nightmares?

________________________________________________________________________

Felicity stared in horror as she watched Oliver berate and abuse Barry. She wanted to step in. She should have stepped in but before she could, Barry had run off- no, ran away. Away from Oliver. The man he loved and adored… the man he now feared.

Shock and horror was clearly written on the blonde genius’s face. But nothing but satisfaction and hate resigned on Oliver’s.

Felicity couldn’t believe that Oliver could be satisfied with himself. Not after what he had just done to the poor, innocent Barry…

“How could you…?” Felicity gasped softly as she stared at Oliver.

Confusion aligned his face as he looked at her. “What do yo-”

“Don’t you DARE, ‘what do you mean?’ me! You know DAMN well what you did!”

Oliver took a moment before his face returned to that of anger “He deserved it and you know it! He killed Tommy! He killed Cisco’s brother-”

“And how many people have you killed Oliver!?” Felicity screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. They had to find Barry before it was too late. But right now she needed to give Oliver an attitude adjustment.

Oliver was silent for about three minutes before speaking. “I may have killed people. But I don’t kill my friends.” He growled before storming out of the cave, slamming the door behind him.

Felicity just covered her mouth and shook her head as she tried to hold in her quiet tears. She shook her head, this time to clear her thoughts. She had to focus. They had to find Barry, otherwise they could lose someone else.

First up, Call Caitlin.

She dialed the number as she sniffed softly, wiping her eyes as she prayed that Caitlin would pick up.

Soon, she got what she was praying for.

“Felicity?” Caitlin asked with a slight hint of confusion and a hidden tone of worry.

“Hey.. I um… Sorry, I was wondering if Barry was there?” She asked as she sniffed again and rubbed her eyes.

“No, we were actually looking for him. Why? Is he ok? Is something wrong with Oliver?”

Caitlin scoffed “Yeah, there’s something wrong with him alright, but that’s not what I’m worried about… listen… Barry and Oliver… they uh… they got into a pretty bad fight. Oliver hit Barry and Barry ran out-

‘Ran away’ her mind provided.

“We- I was hoping he might’ve gone to STAR labs.” She said as more worry set in. Barry didn’t go to STAR labs… maybe he was with Joe or Iris?

She said goodbye, promising to call if she found news of where he could be.

No such luck. Barry was missing. An emotionally abused, hurting Barry was missing and so many things could go wrong.

“Please be okay Barry…” She whispered softly as she looked to her computers. Finding people and using computers. Two of the things she was best at.

____________________________________________________________________________

Barry woke up. The rain had stopped but that didn’t stop him from feeling as if he were freezing to death.

_ ‘Good. You deserve pain. You killed Dante and Tommy’ _

Barry flinched at his minds’ cruelty but understood it. It made sense. It was only karma.

He stretched out his stiff limbs and looked around. He was still in the middle of nowhere.

He sighed. Maybe he should head back to STAR labs-

_ ‘Where you have to face the man whose brother you killed?’ _

He flinched but… the voice was right. He killed Dante, why would he want Barry anywhere near him? Caitlin probably hated him too…

_ ‘Of course she hates you. You killed Ronnie’  _

His mental voice supplied. Barry looked down. He just realized how empty he felt. How cold he was, and he didn’t mean because of the rain. He looked down at his feet before slowly pushing himself up. He was hungry. But first he had to think of where he was suppose to go. He couldn’t go home. He couldn’t stay near that part of central and he wasn’t even tempted to go anywhere near Star. He could still hear Oliver yelling at him. Could feel his fist colliding with his jaw….

_ ‘You’re not a hero...Heroes don’t kill people… you...you’re a monster’ _

_ ‘Get out. The next time I see you, I won’t hesitate to put an arrow through your chest.’ _

Barry shivered. He had screwed up so badly, hadn’t he? He just shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was done with the flash, that he knew… maybe Central city could find a new hero. One that actually did what a hero was supposed to… instead of killing his friends…

He sighed and ran off to a different part of Central, it was kind of like the glades in Star city, only less murder and more drugs.

He found an empty apartment that smelled of mold and had water dripping from a spot in the ceiling. But oh well. It was good enough.

He lied on the cold, concrete ground as he thought about what had happened all in this one day. And it had all started because he was selfish. He was weak and pathetic. Maybe everyone's lives would be better without him… no one needs a broken hero.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It sucks and im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is a very choppy chapter and its kinda short. Im sorry. Ive had like 0 muse for a bit and im trying to get back to writing for you guys. Thamkfully the other amazing author is helping me. Thank you kr1411!

Oliver had never been more pissed. He had honestly thought him and Barry were friends, and now he confesses to getting his best friend killed? That was not ok at all.

Of course, Barry tried to play it off as being all innocent, saying he didn’t mean to, but he was probably just jealous of him and Tommy. Barry always downed him for when he use to kill when he was just hiding the fact that he was more of a killer than Oliver was. Not that he would ever admit it, but Barry and Iris had a complicated friendship, what with Iris constantly friendzoning him. He was probably jealous of the fact that Oliver could have whoever he wanted. At least he wasn’t pining over Tommy… when Tommy was alive.

And what made matters worse, was the fact that Felicity  _defended_  him. Why was she so quick to let that fact that Barry  _killed_  Tommy slide?

Barry knew he shouldn’t be changing the timeline, yet he went and did it anyway. And no one was punishing him, as far as he knew. He could go and do it again for all everyone knew, and no one would know the difference. And that pissed him off more. That Barry never had to suffer the consequences of his actions, everyone else did.

He needed to hit something. The only problem with that was the fact that he could get arrested for doing it as Oliver Queen, and there was no way in hell he was going back to the foundry. Not while Felicity was still there. She would just hound him to go find Barry and ‘make it right’. Make what right? Barry’s the one that fucked up. He killed Tommy, there was nothing Barry could do to make that right.

Oliver’s phone buzzed, and while he didn’t want to check it, it could be something important. He looked at it, to see it was from Felicity.

“ _Barry ran away. Hope you’re happy,_ ” it read. Oliver rolled his eyes. Of course Barry ran away. He was probably throwing himself some sort of pity party. Crying and waiting for someone to come find him and pity him.

Well fuck that. Barry was on his own.

Oliver pocketed his phone, not bothering to answer, and started to walk home. He could come back for his bike later, he was too angry to be driving.

How would Barry run away anyways? Would he just… not go back to STAR Labs or something? How would they know if he ran away, it hasn’t even been an hour yet! Plus, Barry got what he deserved, he should know that. He wanted to do so much more than punch him when he was here. He wanted to beat the living hell out of him. Tommy, his best friend since /childhood was gone because of a selfish meta. He didn't even deserve the title human, let alone hero.

Once Oliver got home, he went straight to the couch and kicked it. He didn’t know what to do. What  _do_  you do when someone you considered your closest friend gets your best friend killed? Maybe if he googled it, he’d find an answer.

It’s not like he could go to therapy either. It’d be kind of hard explaining that one of your fri- one of your  _colleagues_ , who just so happens to be the flash, travelled back in time and got your best friend killed, and someone else who you  _thought_  was your friend defends said colleague.

He tried to take a deep breath. He was so pissed off at this current situation.   
He punched the nearest thing which happened to be the wall and snarled at it. His hand ached, but not in pain, he wanted to punch a certain speedster very badly. Barry would get over this fucking pity party he was having, besides,he knew just as well ad anyone that even Barry knew how much he fucked up.Oliver wasn't the only one done with the fact that he just won't leave the fucking timeline alone, Cisco's just as pissed as he was with every right to do so, he killed his fucking brother! What hero does that? He growled again before storming off. He needed to take his mind off of things anyway he knew how.

___________________________________

Barry just lied there as he replayed Oliver's words over and over in his head like a tape. And the more he rewinded the tape and listened, the more he agreed, and the emptier he felt.

 _‘You’re a killer… you get everyone around you murdered. Your fault...your fault_ your fault _!’_

Barry shook his head violently, almost as if trying to disagree with the voice as he curled in on himself, releasing a pitiful whimper as tears pricked at his eyes.

He sniffled softly. It was cold. He was cold… but…. Monsters don't deserve to be warm. So he didn't even attempt to vibrate to raise his temperature.

It had barely been two days before his mind had shattered and he had given in to his dark thoughts. Then again, it didn't take much lately. His dad was dead, mom was dead, Eddie, Ronnie, Dante….Tommy…. All dead because of him.

’ _Maybe it should be your turn. Take yourself out of the picture and people will stop suffering. Stop being selfish and just do it.’_

Barry shook his head again. He didn't want to die. He wasn't afraid to die but he didn't want to. Besides, nothing would work, his healing would kick in and at the most he would just end up disfigured.

Besides, if he was going to die, he deserved a slow death.

Four more hours passed with him just lying there, before he finally pushed himself up off the ground. Maybe a walk would help?

’ _It won't bring Tommy back, you murderer.’_

Barry sighed softly and tears came back to his eyes. He already knew that bringing Tommy back is something that wouldn't work. Believe him, if there was something he could do, he would.

He tried to fight off the overwhelming thoughts in his head, at least while in public. That was something he’d mastered.

Faking a smile.

He'd done it for years, fake a smile and no one even had any second thoughts. They all got to see the happy boy Barry has always pretended to be while his thoughts ate him alive.

But...Not Oliver, Oliver had always seen the real happiness Barry had. But that was because Oliver was there. Barry thought the world of that man and he had always brought so much joy to Barry. When he first became the Flash, Oliver’s words had inspired him and through the years they had team ups and even gotten to the point where they would just go hang out sometimes-

_Well you made sure to ruin that didn't you?_

Barry felt his stomach drop and his heart strings were pulled painfully. He wiped his face to find his hand was wet. He was crying again. Great.  
He soon found a bench and decided to just sit there for a while. Maybe someone would try to mug him then put him out of his misery.

_Yeah and everyone else’s too you murderer._

Barry sighed and looked down. Good to know even he hated himself.

Barry didn’t know where he was walking, but it felt better than sitting there. He wanted warmth so bad, to be in a  _bed_  so  _bad_ , but he couldn’t go back. No. No one deserved to be around a monster, a  _murderer_  like himself. He couldn’t do that to the team, he’d somehow manage to get them killed, knowing him.

Barry let out another heavy sigh, trying to blink back tears that began to surface. He didn’t  _deserve_  to cry, monsters don’t cry.

He walked past a Waffle House, and looked down at his stomach. He hasn’t eaten in two days, and he knew he should, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t deserve to.

Barry looked down and walked past it reluctantly, his stomach growling in protest. Maybe he could get food later, when he somehow forgot about his hellish actions. But for now, he didn’t deserve it, just like he didn’t deserve any luxuries of life. Oliver was right. He was a monster… Maybe he should go find Oliver? Make Oliver keep his promise of putting an arrow in his chest.

He sighed softly. He felt so weak, his stomach hurt but he kept walking. Maybe if he walked far enough away, he could disappear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big shoutout to ths other author who practically wrote this chapter for me xD

About three weeks had passed and Barry had yet to return to STAR labs, the precinct, or back home with Joe. Joe was trying to keep Barry from losing his job, Wally was having to step in as Flash and Felicity, Cisco, and Caitlin were all trying to find Barry.

 

“Where would he normally go?” Caitlin wondered aloud. Cisco was only helping because the city needed Flash, but not for Barry. He was still angry at him and if it weren't for the metas threatening Central City, he wouldn't care less that Barry was gone.

 

Caitlin looked over at the short tech genius. He was typing away at one of the computers. “Cisco,” he said as she walked over to him “You need to actually be trying to find Barry, not the flash.” She warned softly. She felt so guilty, Barry wouldn't be hurting so badly had she not lost control with killer frost and said so much.

 

Cisco looked at her and scowled “I am, even though I’d rather not.” He said angrily as he faced the computer once again. Caitlin frowned “Cisco…”

 

“Not now, Caitlin. Right now, we need to focus on finding Barry, whether I like it or not,” he said coldly, turning back to the computers.

 

They didn’t know what else to do. They’ve run facial recognition, they had Felicity run facial recognition, hell, they somehow managed to get /ARGUS to help find him, and they still couldn’t. It was like Barry became a ghost or something. They couldn’t think of anyway to find him.

 

They had the police force looking for him too, but not because he was the Flash, but because he was Barry Allen, their very own CSI.

 

“Try getting Felicity to call him. If anything, track his cell. “ Caitlin tried. She was really just grasping at straws. He was better at disappearing than Oliver Queen.

Cisco looked at her “We tried that already-”

 

“Then you call him!” Caitlin said pleadingly.

 

Cisco's eyes darkened again “Caitlin, No-”

 

“Please! You don't have to talk to him but maybe if you call, he’ll pick up and if you can keep him on the phone long enough, I can trace his cell?”

 

Cisco glared at her, but she had a point, if he called Barry may think it's either really important or Cisco had forgiven him, because that's the only two reasons Cisco would even think of calling him.

 

With a reluctant sigh, he pulled out his phone and went to find Barry's number in his phone. He paused as he stared at the picture he had as Barry’s profile pic in his contacts. It was of He and Barry at a comic con. It was when they had the time, Barry had reluctantly dressed up as the tenth doctor and Cisco was someone from Star Trek. He stared at it for a moment longer before pressing the talk button, forcing the image from his mind and the memories that came with it. Barry killed Dante, he didn't care about any times before then. That’s why he changed the past-

 

_‘He just wanted his parents, he just lost his dad, who’s the real heartless one?’_

 

Damn voice.

 

He ignored that too and waited.

 

He was starting to believe that maybe they were wrong, besides, if Barry thought Cisco hated him, why would he answer him?

 

But then, right before the last ring sound, the phone picked up.

 

“Barry?” Cisco said a little too quickly. He waited, putting the phone on speaker so that Caitlin could listen while she tracked his cell.

 

There was silence, and heavy breathing. It sounded painful.

_‘Oh god, is he hurt?- wait- why do I care? He deserves i-’_

 

_‘Does he?’_

 

Cisco bit his tongue as he waited for an answer.

 

The heavy breathing continued before a way too small and weak voice answered.

 

_“What else did I mess up?”_

 

Wait, what?

 

“What do you mean?” He found himself asking.

 

 _“Who else’s life did I mess up?”_ It was a general question, it wasn't a statement, he was really asking if they had found out that he messed someone else's life up or worse….

 

“Barry, can you tell me where you are, please?” Caitlin asked as she typed away at the computer, her slim fingers moving faster than they'd ever gone

 

_“No.” He said softly, his voice cracking._

 

“Why?” She asked, trying to keep him on the phone.

 

There was more silence and, despite hating to admit it, Cisco was scared he'd hung up.

 

_“.... Monsters deserve to be alone….”_

 

That was the last thing they'd heard before the line went dead.

 

“Damn it!” Caitlin cried as she slammed her hand down on the keyboard.

 

The cortex was dead silent until…

 

Cisco turned to see Caitlin crying softly.

 

Cisco became worried “Hey, Cait, it-”

 

“I can't… Cisco, I can't stand knowing that I’m part of the reason he's out there. Those things I said… what you said… the fight he and Oliver got into… Cisco, when Barry first joined STAR labs, I checked over his medical files and he's had a bad history of depression and I...what if he… Cisco, he called himself a _monster_. What if he…?”

 

Cisco looked at her and his anger had already been slowly cascading away. But now it was replaced with concern and understanding. What had he done? Barry could really hurt himself and no one would know, and he was partly to blame. He didn't even know why he was so mad, they had been planning to save his mom before, they had all agreed, what was different this time?

 

Now, because of his asshol-ish-ness, he might lose his other brother, and that brother would be hating himself while thinking everyone else hated him to...what had he done?

 

He comforted Cait as much as he could “Come on, we won't let that happen. Let's bring Barry home.” He said smiling softly as he turned and began to type away at his computer, determined to find his friend before it was too late.

 

 _________________________________

 

Barry sat there, leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand. He eyes were dull and shining from unshed tears. He wanted to go home. He really did… but… he didn't deserve to go home. Monsters don't have homes. It made him wonder why Cisco had called him. Cisco hated him, he killed his brother and he caused Caitlin to have powers she didn't want. They both hated him. He must have done something else and they found out. Who else had he killed? Or in the very least, who else's life did he ruin?

 

He just let out a soft sigh as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. No one else would call him. Knowing his friends they would be trying to ping his location by tracking his phone. Good thing Felicity taught him how to fix that before everything went to shit…

 

Speaking of Felicity, he started to think of Oliver. He wondered if he was helping everyone look for him. He doubted it. Oliver didn't want him found. Threatening to kill him the next time they saw each other was a pretty clear sign for him to stay lost.

 

_‘You're not a hero...heroes don't kill people… you? You're a monster.”_

 

Oliver’s words rung out in his head amd soon he found himself finally feeling _something._

 

 _‘Anger’_ his mind provided for him. He felt anger. And it didn't take long for him to accept that emotion because at least he was feeling _something_ after being numb for the past week. He had spent the first week trying to overcome his guilt. He wasn't planning on leaving forever but then after thinking about it more, the guilt ate him and he spent the next two weeks hating himself and struggling between ending it or forcing himself to suffer and finally, he was able to feel angry.

 

Angry at zoom for killing his dad

Angry at wells- or thawne, whoever he was, for killing his mom.

Angry at Cisco because it wasn't _fair_ that he got to be mad when they all would have done the same thing if they had been in his position.

Angry at Oliver. He had spent so long trying to get the others trust and attention and just when he had it, just when he thought that there could have been something more there than friendship, Oliver snatched it away. It wasn't fair. Barry was always giving and giving and giving and the one damn time he wanted to _take_ everyone got pissy and jumped on his shit. Well you know what? Fuck them.

 

He was about to get up, about to ignore the way his body hurt, ignore the way his stomach screamed because the last time he had eaten had been about four days ago. His limit, he had realized. He could go a total of four days without eating before his stomach began to eat itself in search for nutrients that Barry had been denying himself. But he didn't. The anger that had just feuled him died out and he didn't want it to come back. He had no right to be angry, yeah the others had done some pretty fucked up shit... But they had never killed anyone Barry loved, they had never ruined his life, they had always tried to help him... 

He got up, but it wasn't anger that fueled him, it was emptiness. He let it lead his actions and he walked weakly out of the mold covered, abandoned apartment he had been holed up in, in an attempt to hide from everyone as well as Oliver. The threat the other man had given had terrified him,  but he accepted it. Knowing Karma, she wouldn't let him die too soon... He had a debt to pay. Now he was to atone for all of his sins... He had to accept the consequences.

It was time for him to stop hiding and to responsibility. First stop? STAR labs. The place that use to be his home. He had to erase his memory from it. And there was only one way to do that...


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Barry did when he got to STAR labs, was go and rip his Flash suit to shreds and leave it in a pile on the floor. Where they would no doubt find it when they returned... When he went solo the first time after the singularity, everyone was happy, Barry didn't have to worry about pissing anyone off and no one else had to suffer due to his actions. But then they had gone and convinced him that he needed a team. He wanted to disagree, they were in danger as long as they were with him... But the idea of being with his friends over ruled his common sense and they got hurt because he was weak...

 

He got out of there as soon as he could. He didn't want to be there when they returned. He couldn't face them again... Especially Cisco. Or even worse... If Oliver were with them...

Thinking of Oliver only fueled his ppl pain, out of all of them, his anger hurt the most, not because it was more brutal and he was ripping him apart with words, but because he had looked up to him, he had done something he hadn't been able to do in awhile, he had loved him and Oliver had single handedly shown him that his love and affection meant nothing… he hurt Barry the most because he was only ever truly happy around Oliver and Oliver had destroyed that happiness. He literally took everything from Barry.

 

Barry felt like shit and he hated himself when he found out what he'd done, he wished he could take it back, he'd gladly give his life for theirs'.... Hell, he would change the timeline again if he needed, but that would only mess more things up. He didn't want to risk killing anyone else... A small voice in the back of his head said that he was being irrational, but he smothered that voice and let sadness guide him. Besides, if he was hurting, then that meant he was feeling something...right? He didn’t care, he just didn’t want to feel the painful numbness that he had experienced before. It was too much… physical pain? He could deal with that. He shook his head and tried to remember what he was doing. Was he going to find Oliver? No, Oliver was a bad idea, Oliver had promised to kill him. If he went to find Oliver now, he might do something he might regret. The thought of Oliver continued to chip off the broken shards of his hurting heart. He had loved Oliver, Oliver had been the only person that he had truly been happy around. He had helped Barry come back from his traumatic experience and he had trusted Oliver kore than he had ever trusted another living person...and Oliver hurt him. Oliver took his trust, his love, and shoved it into Barry’s face and hurt him more than any physical wound could have. It made him think of  _him..._  The man that had taken him and physically and mentally tortured him for almost a year... He shook his head... Oliver was nothing like that man... He tried to get the blond archer out of his head but the man refused to leave his train of thought and so he focused on anything else he could so he wouldn’t be taken over by the hurt.

 

He forgot that he was still running for a second before stopping just to see where he was, surprisingly, he was right where he needed to be.

His old home.

Eventually, no one had bothere to buy the house, the woman that had previously lived there had moved after Joe had never called her back. The woman should have taken the hint that it was never gonna be a thing. 

He walked inside, there was littlw furniture, but it would be enough. He would stay there, in plain sight as he wasted away. What vetter olace to die then right were his parents did?

___________________________________

 

Oliver was shooting tennis balls with his arrows. Before it was a training method, now it was to release his pent up anger. Anger at Barry, anger at his mother, anger at himself.  He growled as he let out a frustrated sigh. Why should he be angry at himself? Barry was the one who messed up, not him. Barry made mistakes and he forgave him when he could but he would not- could not - forgive him for this. He got his best friend killed. Killed Cisco’s brother and who knows who else he killed. Barry just went too far this time.  But a small part of him was worried, Barry had been missing, at first he figured Barry had just gone off to sulk, but now he had been missing for a few weeks. The part of him that wasn't pissed off, the tiny part that wanted to hear Barry’s side of the story, was scared for Barry. Was scared of what he'd done to Barry, the boy had already gone through so much, he had to break at some point. But the anger in him silenced that part of him and he threw his bow to the side. Normally, he wouldn’t have wanted to do that simply because he really didn’t need a damaged weapon in the field but he was just so _angry_ at almost everything, it was hard for him to think straight.

 

He let out a sound that was a mix between a growl and a sigh and threw himself down onto a chair. He leaned his elbow on one knee and ran a hand over his face as he tried to calm down. If he’d learnt anything, it was that an angry Oliver didn’t always make the best decisions. He just sat there like that for a few minutes before he heard a faint buzzing sound. He looked up to see his phone lighting up and bouncing slightly on the table as it vibrated to let him know he had a call. Curious, but also needing a distraction, he stood up and walked to the table, grabbing his phone and looking at the screen to see who was calling him. It was STAR labs. His anger bubbled up again, probably someone calling to tell him that he was the bad guy, much like Felicity had been doing for the past few weeks. But, he answered it anyway, besides, he was hoping to be able to pick a fight with someone, just to let his anger out.

 

“Hello.” He said gruffly, not as a question but more of a forced answer because what he really wanted to say was ‘what the fuck do you want’ but he refrained from that because it was Barry he was pissed at, not anyone else.

The one who replied was Caitlin, But her voice sounded worried, not accusatory. And what she said had Oliver’s mind racing and his stomach dropping.

 

_“Oliver, S-Something happened a-and we need your help, please.”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry it took so long! I hope that this helps make up for our long absences! Please enjoy this chapter! The other author and I worked vert hard on it!

Oliver frowned when he heard the message. What happened? Why did Caitlin sound so distressed?

Whatever the cause, it didn’t matter. His ‘Arrow’ instincts kicked in and he moved to leave the ‘Arrow cave’ that Cisco insisted on calling it.

 

After the call, Oliver’s mind was wrapping around any possibilities of what had or was happening. 

 

_ Meta problem gone wrong? No, they wouldn’t have called me and Caitlin wouldn’t have been in tears like she was… _

 

_ Maybe they’re trying to guilt trip me into apologizing to Barry? Possible but the emotion in Caitlin’s voice sounded real. _

 

_...What if there’s something wrong with Barry? _

 

He shook his head, he couldn’t care less about that man. He took and took and didn’t care what the consequences of his actions were or who he hurt. If he got hurt, then it was simply karma coming to collect on her debt.

 

He ignored the slight pang of guilt because even he knew that, that thought was taking things a bit far, but he was angry and he wasn’t good with expressing his emotions so lashing out was the only thing he managed to do.

 

He pushed these thoughts from his head and focused on getting to STAR labs.

 

Once he was there, he stormed into the cortex and looked at the members of team Flash. Cisco and Caitlin were the only ones there.

 

“What happened?” He asked as he looked around.

Caitlin looked up at him before looking over to Cisco who was leaning against the wall by the door that hid Barry’s suit - Or where Barry’s suit was supposed to be. Oliver frowned and walked over towards the mannequin that was once the resting area for Barry’s suit. The same suit that was now shredded in a pile on the floor. 

He knelt down and grabbed a piece of the fabric. The piece he now held in his hands adorned the Flash’s symbol.

 

He was silent for a few moments before looking up at the others “When did this happen?” He demanded.

 

“We don’t know. It had to have happened at some point last night when Caitlin and I headed out for the night. We came back to find...that.” He said slowly, not looking up. He kept his gaze to the ground as if it were the most interesting thing there. Oliver didn’t say anything, but he could tell that something was bothering him.

 

“We don’t know who did it. We tried to get ahold of Barry again but-”

 

Oliver stopped her “What do you mean,  _ again _ ?”

 

Cisco and Caitlin looked at each other before Caitlin continued speaking. “The other day… I… I got Cisco to call Barry. I was scared he wouldn’t answer, but he did.” She said softly. “When he answered though he… he asked us what else he did wrong… I tried to get him to come back but he said no…. He said that he was a monster, that he deserved to be alone…” She said, tearing up as she began to cry softly.

 

That news had stopped Oliver dead in his tracts. Barry had called himself a monster?

The memory of their fight flooded into his mind and he watched as he remembered the words he’d said to Barry.

 

_ “You’re not a hero. Heroes don’t kill people… You? You’re a monster.” _

 

He just looked at the lightening bolt symbol that rested in his hand. He didn’t know who did this, but he might as well had. Because of his anger and cruelty, he killed the flash. And he wounded Barry Allen and now he knew he had to find him before the wound gets infected and Barry Allen dies too.

 

“Cisco, do a facial scan of the city for Barry. Caitlin, can you think of any place that Barry might be?”

Cisco nodded and went to the computer and began to scan the traffic cams and anything else he could find. They needed to find Barry, especially if this was an enemy that did this, then Barry was in danger.

 

“I’m not sure, There’s a lot of places Barry could be, but he’s smart, he’s not gonna be somewhere that we could easily find him, he doesn’t want to be found.” She said with teary eyes, remembering the last phone call they had had with the young genius. Barry was so smart, there was so much that Barry could do, and they did nothing but put him down and insult his intelligence, making it seem as if the only talent he had was his speed. How could they do that to him? No wonder Barry didn’t want to come home…

 

Oliver frowned softly, it was almost as if they all shared those thoughts. But he had to set that aside, yes they needed to find Barry, but he was still angry and he would rather not focus on that, he just wanted to focus on finding Barry because despite being pissed at the young CSI, he wasn’t going to stand by while someone was in danger.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Barry was in his old room. Most of the furniture remained in the empty house, but some was covered in plastic, other stuff was missing, vases, his mom’s old china plates that she collected were gone, the glass of the cabinet they were in was shattered. More than likely, stuff was stolen, but due to this being a generally good neighborhood (And the fact that no one wanted a house that two people were murdered in) most of the house remained in tact. There was, of course, no power in the house so it was kind of cold, but the blankets were still there. So he climbed onto his small bed and wrapped himself in as many blankets as he could. He laid on the bed and thought back on everything that had lead up to this point. 

 

He changed the timeline

Too much changed, people died

He told everyone what happened

They turned on him.

Oliver turned on him…

Oliver punched him.

Barry ran away…

 

_ Of course I ran away… that’s all i’m capable of doing anymore. Running. I can’t save anyone, Oliver pointed that out. I’m not a hero… I’m a monster… all I do is create problems and let everyone else solve them while they suffer the consequences of my actions. _

 

Barry couldn’t help the tears that swelled in his eyes. He curled in on himself and let out a gut wrenching sob as his body shook from the force of it. He hated it. He hated this… he hated himself. He had become the Flash in order to save people, to help people seeing as he couldn’t help his father. But in the end, all he did was screw more stuff up. He got people hurt. Ronnie, Dante, Eddie, His mom.. He finally freed his father from prison only for him to get killed because of the Flash’s enemy. He ruined so many people’s lives. So many people had suffered because of him. Why should he get to live when truly innocent people didn’t?

 

Barry was still sobbing when an idea came to his mind. Maybe he could try to make things right? He couldn’t fix anything he had done. But he could try to atone for his sins.

 

He removed himself from the blankets and walked into the kitchen, the silverware was gone. Of course it was. He sighed and looked down. Oh well, that would have been messy anyways, he didn’t want to make anyone else clean up after him. He wanted to make the least amount of mess as he could. He then walked to his parent’s room, in the closet were some belts and a few of his mom’s scarves. He decided to grab one belt and a long scarf. He didn’t think the belt would do it right alone. He then grabbed a stool and tied one end of the scarf to the pole at the top of the closet, he then tied it as tight as he could around his neck, it hurt, he got a little dizzy too, but he couldn’t stop, not now. He tied one end of the belt to the scarf and looped it around his neck.

 

He was still crying. He couldn’t stop. This was it… would he be with his mom and dad? Would he get to see them again? No… No, monsters don’t go to heaven…. Or anywhere good. No, he didn’t deserve anything that good. He let out a choked sob and clenched his eyes shut tightly.

“I’m sorry…” He sobbed out loud to no one. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to… I wish I could change what happened… I wish my death could bring everyone else back, I wish that I could have done things differently… I’m sorry I ruined everyone’s lives… I’m sorry…” He cried out loud. He didn’t bother with a note, he knew no one would read it, But he needed to let this out. He needed to at least say something before he left this earth forever. “I’m sorry…” He sobbed quietly, one last time, before he stepped off the stool. His body struggled slightly, his feet kicking out, kicking the stool over. His eyes went wide for a moment, a final tear trailing down his cheeks… and then darkness.

 

No one was there in his final moments, how befitting… a monster dying a lonely, pathetic death. Just as he deserved.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Little did he know, there was a viewer to his sad scene. The person smirked as he watched the pathetic show. Once the other stilled, The person walked forwards, out of the shadows and stood in front of the speedster.

The person’s grin widened and it’s hand shot out and pulled the belt and scarf off of Barry’s neck, letting him hit the ground. A hand stretched out to find a weak pulse.

With a scoff the person straightened up. “You’ll heal.” The person mumbled as they pulled out the stool and sat, they would wait a bit, let Barry heal up before leaving.

“Hm… Poor thing, you thought you could escape me...didn’t you?....Pet…” The person smirked as they watched their prey with hungry eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To answer any questions, go read Familiar Strangers. I don't think you have to, per say, but it would clear up so much confusion :)

Darkness was all Barry could see or feel. He felt light...free, safe. Is this really the afterlife? Or is this one specifically for monsters like him? If so, why did it feel so… nice… like, now he wouldn't have to worry about anything. He could just… Exist and he wouldn't have to worry about pain or messing something up… for once, he felt like he'd done something right, that killing himself made an impact and for once no one else would suffer because of it.

Barry was going to close his eyes again but then he had a sharp, ringing pain inside his head. He let out a cry of pain and gripped his head. There was a bright light and when he opened his eyes again, he was no longer in peaceful darkness. No,now, he was in a room. The room was large, concrete walls and floors with questionable stains. But that wasn't the most troubling. He was chained up. His arms extended over his head and his feet hovered a good four inches off the ground. 

“Wha…?” He tried to speak but talking felt like he was gurgling rusty razor blades. He groaned and tried to blink his confusion away. His arms were sore and his throat hurt like hell. He looked around the room once more. There were many items within the room. A metal slab with cuffs attached, a wall that held chains and one of those wooden things that people's heads and arms were put in. He couldn't think of the name of it.

He looked up when he hear a loud creaking sound and he noticed the roo. Also had a door that was mainly concealed with the wall, the only thing that distinguished it as a door is the metal handle and lock.

He heard keys jingling and then he saw the door begin to open. 

Now Barry knew from the beginning that whoever took him wasn't good. But who he saw… he never expected him.

“Oliver?” He croaked out, wincing at his voice.

The Oliver look-alike smirked darkly “What? Surprised I wouldn't find you?” He taunted. At first, The evil Oliver, now calling himself Chronus, had planned on just coming out in the open, letting Barry know he was not dead, but instead, he thought it'd be more fun to play a little game with the young man. He'd been watching him for a while after he'd recovered. And being on a different earth at the time, the time period they called ‘Flashpoint’ hadn't affected him. He remembered it all. He had seen the way his ‘friends' had treated him and saw how his ‘Oliver’ had treated him and when the other ran away, and he saw none of them going after him and failing to find him, he thought. ‘Well what better time to get him back?’

And that lead them to here, with Chronus pretending to be Barry's Oliver as he kept him chained up like a prisoner.

Barry looked like he wanted to speak, but the younger man’s throat was probably in pain, a failed hanging attempt can really kill your throat.

“You know… I was pissed when I found out you killed Tommy. I had let the other deaths slide because you didn't mean to kill them, or- at least that's what I thought. But then I find out you killed Tommy and I realized something. You  _ meant _ to kill them. You were tired of being the only one to have lost your parents, the most important people in your life. So that's why you killed Dante, erased Baby Sarah, and gave Caitlin powers. You were tired of being the only one to suffer. And you were jealous. You were jealous because I loved Tommy and that's why you killed him. Because i would  _ never _ love you.” He monologued as he watched Barry's reaction. 

“No! I… I-”

“You what?” Chronus snapped as he glared at Barry “Just stop lying. You're a monster and you know it.” He snarled before walking behind Barry. Barry tried to turn his head to see what Oliver was doing but he couldn't see anything. All of a sudden, a searing, burning pain erupted in his thigh. Barry screamed out as he gasped for breath. He looked down to see that Oliver had taken a hot rod and stabbed his leg.

“Oliver pleas-! AAGH!” He screamed out again as Oliver took the rod and re-entered the same wound.

“Shut up, Barry. You don't get to talk. Now you get to feel the pain that all of us have felt because of you.” He spat and stabbed the red hot Iron in Barry's side.

Barry let out another scream and gasped at the pain. His eyes were wide and tears flowed down his face. It became difficult to breathe as the pain took over his mind. Oliver…” He winced as his voice croaked slightly “Stop… please…” He gasped. Chronus glared and walked in front of Barry before lifting the hot iron rod up to Barry’s face “You don’t seem to know what ‘don’t speak’ means, so let me help you.” He snarled before holding the iron to Barry’s cheek. Barry screamed even louder before his throat died and his mouth was held open in silent anguish as he tried to turn his face away from the source of pain.

‘Oliver’ smirked, happy with his work before pulling the rod away, some of the melted skin peeled away with it, leaving a large, angry blistering wound on his left cheek. Oliver set the rod aside and moved back behind Barry as he whimpered and jerked on the chains.

Barry whimpered as he tried to phase through the chains, but it wasn’t working. Why was Oliver doing this? He knew Oliver had been angry… but he didn’t think Oliver would say such things… didn’t think Oliver would do... _ this _ to him. It made him realize just how much he’d angered everyone. He wished that he was dead and that this was hell, but this felt all too real… he was alive and this was Oliver… hurting him more than he’d ever thought the man would ever hurt him.

He closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears from falling. He was scared. No, scratch that. 

He was terrified.

_ ‘I’m sorry…’ _ Barry thought before more screams erupted from his throat as Oliver took a sharp object and carved something into his back.

_ 'I’m so sorry…’ _   
  


____________________________________________________________________________

A week passed. There had been no sign of Barry Allen or the Flash. Crime was starting to climb, Oliver did his best to help keep things calm, he couldn’t get his team to come over, they were holding up Star City which was starting to act up again with The Green Arrow being in Central. Things were going to shit and finding Barry was starting to feel impossible, but Oliver and the others couldn’t stop, not when they were the ones who put their friend in danger. The longer Barry stayed gone, the less angry Oliver felt and the more guilty he became. 

He felt like shit. He betrayed Barry, the most innocent and faithful man he knew. He understood now that Barry never meant to hurt anyone, and hell, if he’d been in Barry’s position, he would’ve done the same thing. No one would have passed up a chance to bring a loved one back, or to fix a mistake they’d made. But everyone of them jumped at the chance to berate and abuse Barry simply for wanting to have his mother back, for wanting to live a life where his dad wasn’t in jail and he wasn’t struck by lightning and forced to lose so many more people and they made it worse.

“There literally has been no sign of Barry anywhere, it’s like he’s disappeared off of the face of the earth.” Cisco sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He sat in front of the computers, trying to figure out where the hell Barry could be.

“Could he be on another earth?’ Iris suggested as she stood next to him, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked at the computers, analyzing them as best as she could.

“It’s always possible, but why would he go to another earth?” Cisco asked, slightly glaring at Iris as if she asked the world’s stupidest question.

“Maybe it’s because we treated him so bad, he didn’t want to risk being around us?” Oliver suggested out of frustration. 

Cisco looked down. He knew  _ all  _ of them were at fault here, but for some reason he felt like it was completely his fault Barry left them. He treated Barry almost as if the speedster wasn’t even a  _ human _ . It was like he was slowly breaking Barry, and he didn’t even care. 

“It’s not likely that he’s on another earth, I just talked to Harry to see if he could help out, he’d contacted the council of wells and they all looked but Barry was nowhere in sight. They promised to keep looking but I don’t think it’ll have much effect. He’s not in Central or Star City, we need to expand our search on this earth for now.” Caitlin suggested.

Cisco nodded and sighed as he went to check satellite cams instead of just the ones that resided in the city limits. Unfortunately, it would take longer this way since it took a stronger signal to get the cams so their systems would be over working for a while. Oliver was about to say something when the computer made a beeping sound.

“Did it find him?” Joe asked quickly as he walked over to the computers beside Cisco.   


“No, but we have an incoming video message.” He said as he went to click on it but Caitlin stopped him “You can’t just randomly click on video lengths, what if it’s a virus or someone trying to get into our systems?” Caitlin said as she looked at the screen.

“Ok but what if it’s Barry?” He asked, honestly, at this point, he didn’t give a damn about any virus, he just wanted his best friend back.

Caitlin paused and thought about it before slowly backing away. Cisco took this as an answer and clicked on the video.

A screen popped up and the first thing they’d seen was Oliver. Oliver frowned in confusion but stayed back with his arms crossed as he watched the video.

_ “Hello, I can already tell you may be a bit confused, but don’t worry, I am not your actual Oliver. But you should remember me, you know, it’s me! You fired an arrow into my heart, left me for dead after taking MY plaything? Not ringing a bell? Oh well. I just wanted to let you know that Barry is alive and...well, not well but ya know, he’s still breathing so that’s good. I figured I’d let you see him for a little bit.”  _ He said smirking as he set the camera at an angle. 

Oliver and the rest were dead silent as fear and panic took over them. They watched as the camera focused in on Barry, they couldn’t tell where he was, all they were able to see was straight gray surrounding the background. A tray of...something… stood behind Barry, out of his line of sight. Barry was suspended from the ceiling, his hands chained above him as his head.

“Oh god… Barry…” Iris gasped and covered her mouth as she stared at the computer screen.

They watched as he winked at the camera before waiting until Barry began to wake up 

_ “Wha…?”  _ Barry mumbled, his voice sounded dry and scratchy. There was a ringed bruise around Barry’s neck and Oliver grew angrier by the second.

They watched as Barry looked around before looking towards the door in which Oliver walked through. They guessed that Barry couldn’t see through the door since he wasn’t focusing in on the fact that it was ‘Oliver’ walking through.

They watched as confusion drifted over the other’s face.  _ “Oliver?”  _ He asked softly. The evil version of him gave no distinction that it wasn’t him.

They watched as ‘Oliver’ spoke. Heard the cruel words that he spoke to Barry and watched as he held a hot iron rod to his pale skin. Barry was so think and sick looking. When Barry started screaming, Oliver looked away. Listening as Barry pleaded with him, trying to get who he thought was Oliver to stop hurting him.

“Turn it off…” Oliver growled. He heard Barry scream again and snarled loudly at Cisco “I said turn it off!” He snarled and slammed his fist on the keyboard, immediately cutting the video off immediately.

Everyone was silent, minus Oliver who walked over and punched the wall as hard as he could. “THAT SON OF A BITCH!” He yelled in absolute outrage. His body was shaking and his face was red.

That bastard was using his face to torture Barry and making him believe it was actually Oliver doing it.

“DAMN IT!” He yelled again and knocked something off of a desk, he didn’t know what it was, didn’t care right now, all he knew is that Barry was suffering and thinking that he was doing it. He felt sick.

The room was dead silent before Cisco began to type on the computer. He was trying to see where the video had been sent from, but no luck, when the video ended, so did the connection link. They were back to square zero while Barry was stuck with a sadistic psychopath and thinking that his own friends were doing this to him.

“We have to find him… and when we do, that sick bastard is  _ mine. _ ” Oliver growled before storming out of the cortex.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the wait you guys, I had already posted this but it didn't notify anyone that it had been updated so I'm reposting it, Our muses have been a little low so the other author and I are kind of struggling with Ideas for the next chapters, if you have any ideas please feel free to comment them!

Pain. It was the only thing he’d allow his brain to process. It was too overwhelming to focus on anything else.

 

He wouldn’t allow himself to focus on the fact that Oliver was doing this to him. He wouldn’t focus on the fact that everyone hated him  _this much_ …Hated him so much that they’d...that Oliver would...  _torture him…_ It was terrifying that his friend...that someone he used to call a friend, could do this to him. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Physical pain? He could handle that… but this? This pain in his heart and in his head? It was too much.

 

He couldn’t help the fact that more tears were gathering in his eyes once again. He wished he could fix this. He wished he could bring everyone back. He wished he could fix things to be like they were before… but he couldn’t and now he had to suffer for what he’d done.

 

Part of him knew he deserved this, but at the same time he knew that this was  _wrong_. That despite what he’d done, this was not right.

 

He was now chained to the wall in the corner of the room by a collar that was just a little too tight. He had tried to free himself but Oliver had been injecting him with a serum that temporarily blocked off his powers. Apparently, Caitlin had made the serum, it was originally for her but decided it’d be best to use on Barry. His body shook out of both fear and from the force of his tears. He knew, he  _knew_ he deserved this… but it still wasn’t right. It still made him shake with fear and tremble with the need to escape. He was so tempted to try to, that was until he heard the door creak open, obliterating any thought of trying to escape.

For a second, just a  _second_ , Oliver had seemed slightly off when he entered the room, but Barry convinced himself it was just his imagination when Oliver walked back with a pissed look on his face. Barry knew that wasn’t good for him, even though he probably deserved what was coming. Trying to avoid any eye contact, he stayed completely silent as Oliver cursed quietly and rummaged around through a bag. Barry couldn’t help how his breath quickened and his heart beat much faster than it normally did.  His eyes were red and puffy from crying. He wanted this to stop… if Oliver would just let him go, he’d disappear and they’d never have to see him again. Both parties would win, right?

 _‘He’s not going to do that. You have to pay for what you’ve done. And you know it.’_ His inner voice said softly, though the words were harsh, it’s tone wasn’t, like even the harshest part of his mind knew that this was taking it too far. Revenge was one thing… torture was another. He couldn’t help the whimper that passed his lips when Oliver stormed past him and out of his line of sight.

 _What’s he mad about?_ Barry wondered to himself, knowing full well that it would be him all that anger would be taken out on. But what was going on with him? Barry, as much as he hated it, as much as he didn’t want to be, was curious. Why? This man tortured him daily, kidnapped him, did  _horrible_ things to him, things most people couldn’t even imagine, so why should he care?

Because the result of the anger would be his pain. That’s it. That’s why.

Barry just hoped his team would, by some miracle, find him soon. He didn’t know how much more torture he could take.  He hoped his team didn’t know what Oliver was doing. Yes they were probably angry with him still, but he hoped they weren’t condoning what Oliver was doing. He hoped that they didn’t know and weren’t a part of this, and that they would come and save him.

 

He really wanted to speak. To say  _something_ in hopes that he may make the torture sure to come not as bad as it probably would be, but he was scared that if he spoke, he’d only make things worse.

 

He immediately looked away when Oliver’s gaze shot up to his. He swallowed thickly when he heard the low growl that came from the person behind him.

“Something interesting?” Oliver snarled as he walked closer and roughly gripped the back on Barry’s head.

 

Barry let out a pained whimper and tried to shake his head but Oliver had a strong grip on his hair.

“N-No! N-No s-si-sir…!” He cried out and held his eyes shut tightly. He braced himself for what was to come next. He should’ve just minded his own damn business, he should’ve just kept staring at the ground, he knew better than to look at Oliver, he knew that pissed him off. God damnit… Why couldn’t he do anything right? Why couldn’t he stop pissing people off…

 

He felt the hand release his hair and grab his arm, pressing his fingernails into an open wound making Barry cry out in pain. He wanted to beg, to plead with Oliver to stop.

“Wh-Why…” He whimpered softly as he gasped, trying to regain his breath. I-I’m sorry about T-Tommy.... I didn’t mean...didn’t kn-know! Please…” He couldn’t help the tears that cascaded down his cheeks. This was too familiar. It took him so long to recover from what happened when Oliver’s doppelganger from earth 39 had come and kidnapped him. The months he had spent being tortured had rendered him nearly shattered. He couldn’t do it again… especially when this was his Oliver.

 

Maybe he wasn’t? Maybe he was another doppelganger? Or maybe he was being controlled by some form of meta like Rainbow Raider? That...That had to be it? Right?

He looked up at Oliver, his left eye was swollen shut and his lip was busted. Oliver just seemed to smirk at the sight of the other. Seemingly proud of the damage he’d done.

 

Unknown to Barry, though, was that Oliver was still able to see the fight and anger in his eyes, the will that Barry didn’t even know he still had. And that pissed him off. It made him angry. Barry had broken fairly quickly the last time, why was now harder? Barry believed he was his Oliver! He believed his friends and family had hated and abandoned him! So… why was he still fighting? What did he have to fight for? It made him frustrated when he couldn’t figure it out.

 

He was brought out of his thoughts when he noticed that Barry was no longer trembling or crying. He frowned and dug his nails deeper into the wound, blood lubricating his fingers as he did so but all he gained was a soft whimper. He looked at the other and realized he had passed out. He smirked, he remembered that Barry tended to pass out fairly easily, especially in the beginning.

 

He removed his hand before going over to a med kit he kept out of the other’s sight. He knew Barry healed fast thanks to his speed but at the same time, his speed wasn’t always able to fight infection. During his experiments the last time he had the speedster chained, he realized that Barry’s healing and health mainly tied into his emotions and morale, so if he were stressed or particularly depressed, he didn’t heal as fast or as good as he did when he happened to be emotionally healthy.

His methods and actions against Barry the last time were purely what he said they were- experiments. He used them as a way to gain knowledge on his latest specimen. Back on his earth, he had been a scientist once. But eventually, animal subjects bored him and he moved on to humans. Though the more he experimented, the more he realized he loved hearing others in pain. It was great. To know that he had control over another human being. To know that he could control how the other person felt, what they thought, what they did. It was truly beautiful.

 

He smirked as he stared at the man dangling from the ceiling in front of him. “Oh pet… we’re going to have so much fun making up for lost time…” He murmured as he ghosted his fingers across the other’s jaw.

 

___________________________________________________________________________

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! I had a little muse to spare so I hope this is ok! I'm sorry for the wait and the short length of this chapter but I'm trying to work on longer chapters. Thank you all for the wait!

Two months passed, Barry Allen was still his. His toy to play with, his… pet.  But something was wrong. Before, Barry was so much fun to break. He got to get  _ very _ creative. I was amazing! But… now, Barry’s healing was weird, even when he removed the cuffs. He wasn’t fun to toy with. He wouldn’t make jabs, get angry, defend himself like he used to… he just seemed so…

 

Broken.

 

And that pissed Chronus, or Evil Oliver, as this earth referred to him as, off to no end. He got a broken toy which meant someone was going to fix this or pay dearly-

 

Or… He could use his pet’s fragile state to his advantage. He leaned against the doorway and watched Barry hang limply from the chains encircling his wrists, suspending him in the air. A pool of blood forming beneath him.

Sighing as a sign of boredom, and to announce his presence, the blonde walked in, smirking at the small flinch the other gave.

 

Chronus tried to look at the other, look him in the eyes, see what he was thinking but Barry kept bowing his head, avoiding eye contact as if the mere action would set off a bomb.

 

“What, don’t like looking at me… Barry?”

 

Barry flinched again at the use of his name. ‘Oliver’ only ever used Barry’s name when he’d done something to upset him. A small whimper escaped the boys throat as Chronus lowered him to the ground. Barry slumped forwards on his knees and began to shake involuntarily.

“Now now, no need to get so riled up. I just wanted to talk to you.” Chronus purred smoothly.

Despite what the older had said, Barry still shook and whimpered softly, keeping his head bowed as a sign of submission. It was cute, but it was not what Chronus wanted right now.

 

He grabbed the other’s chin and pulled it upwards, not roughly, but enough to be stern as he stared into the brunettes eyes. He saw nothing but pain. Guilt, sorrow, emptiness… but that was it. Not even a  _ hint _ of anger.

 

Which meant this would work so much better than he thought.

“You know… I think you’ve paid your price.” He muttered as he held the other’s chin less harshly. A look of confusion briefly crossed the other’s face before it disappeared.

“I’m not angry at you anymore… Barry. You’ve taken your punishments. You’ve accepted my anger and you did so because you know what you did was wrong.” He had an empathetic face, but he was anything but. This was merely a ruse to further his twisted game.

 

“B-But I-”

 

A subtle squeeze on his chin immediately silenced him.

“I said I wasn’t angry. That doesn’t mean I forgive you… you still have a ways to go to earn my trust back… to earn my….  _ Love _ back.”

 

He smirked softly at the other’s face. He was quite adorable when he was confused. It gave him an innocent appearance. 

 

Barry was struggling to comprehend what Oliver meant… didn’t he hate Barry? Why… why was he…

Barry felt his stomach knot. Something didn’t seem right but… anything was better at this point than the pain he’d been going through. His body hurt and his healing had slowed to the point it took days to heal a broken bone, whereas before it would have only taken three hours.

 

“W-What d-do you w-wan-want me t-to do?” He asked softly. His eyes pleading that it wasn’t anything painful. He couldn’t take anymore pain. He knew this had to be a trick, a cruel game Oliver was playing to take his anger out on him with, but at the moment he didn’t care because despite everything… Barry still loved Oliver. He loved the man more than anything and if hurting Barry was the only thing that helped Oliver grieve than so be it. It was his fault anyways.

He wanted nothing more than to fall into Oliver’s arms. For this all to be fixed and for him and Oliver to be together again… to be happy like they were.

 

Upon hearing the other’s question, Chronus’ smirk grew as he held the other’s chin in his hand.

“You’ll see.” He murmured, staring deep into Barry’s eyes.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

  
  


Cisco was in the speed lab, leaning onto the computer as he stood deep in thought… in memories. Barry… a man he claimed to be his brother… well, that was before the mess known as flashpoint. 

 

At the time, his anger towards Barry seemed right… but now? Now he wished he had just learned to move past his anger. He had been grieving… he had just lost his brother, and the deal with Caitlin it… it just made Barry the perfect target for blame and hate… and Barry had done nothing but take his hate. No doubt because everything he said in his anger, the brunette probably believed already. Barry had a knack for taking on blame and for beating himself up over everything, even if it wasn’t his fault. 

It was one of Barry’s most heroic qualities. To feel what everyone else felt. To take away their guilt and pain and carry it all by himself… heroic but very stupid. Barry should know he didn’t have to do this by himself but… Cisco showed him the very opposite. Barry had lost his mom and dad…  _ again _ and Cisco turned his back on him and took his anger and grief out on Barry who was hurting enough already. But Barry just took his hatred and it only fueled Cisco more. He wanted Barry to break. To hurt more than he did… but now that he had broken his best friend… he felt sick… Barry may have referred to himself as the monster, but that title very well belonged to Cisco. He betrayed his best friend when he needed him more then than ever.

 

And then the situation with Oliver did not help at all either. He knew that hearing Oliver turn against him broke him more. But he chose to ignore it and held onto his hatred… and where did that get them? Barry was stuck being tortured but some evil Oliver look alike. Alone and in pain…

 

Speaking of the Evil Oliver. Something the man had said confused him. He had said that Oliver had killed him… but Cisco would remember battling an evil Oliver… unless… unless their battle had happened before Barry changed the timeline. If that was so then what else had changed?

Cisco furrowed his brows as he contemplated what could have happened. If this man already knew them, they were at a severe disadvantage. Since the other had not been affected by the timeline change, did that mean he was from a different earth? It was possible he was from a different earth which meant Barry could be on a different earth.

 

Damn it. This wasn’t good,

He stood up to go discuss his thoughts with the others. He placed his hand on the computer to push himself up a little when suddenly he was transported somewhere else.

 

_ It was Joe’s house. Barry and Oliver were sitting in the living room. Both sitting on the couch as “Singin’ in the rain.” played on the T.V. _

_ Oliver sat with one hand in a popcorn bowl and the other thrown over the back of the couch. Barry was sitting on the other side of the couch, curled up in a comfortable little ball as he watched the screen with a tilted head. Barry had turned his head to look at Oliver who seemed engrossed within the movie.  _

_ ‘Hn’ Cisco thought. ‘Never knew Oliver would be the kind to like musicals.’ _

 

_ He watched as Barry uncurled from his ball, getting on his hands and knees on the couch before crawling closer to Oliver. He paused for a moment, sitting back on his legs when Oliver turned to him, raising his brow in question to if he needed something. Barry just looked for a moment, as if checking to make sure it was safe before crawling an inch more towards him. He then sat and leaned up against Oliver _

 

_ Cisco watched as Oliver smiled, grinning a little before wrapping a careful arm around him. _

 

 

Cisco sucked in a breath as he retracted from the vibe. What was that? He was still stuck in thought when Oliver entered.

“You okay, Cisco?” The blonde asked him, looking warily at the young man. Cisco hadn’t realized it but he had paled a little and was staring off into space as if he’d seen a ghost.

 

It took Cisco a moment to respond. His breath shook and so did his hands a little. But why? He never acted like this after a vibe… what was wrong?

“I-I vibed Barry…” He mumbled softly.

 

“You did? What did you see?” The blonde asked eagerly.

 

Cisco shook his head “I don’t know… exactly… You and Barry were at Joe’s house on the couch…” Cisco figured it’d be easier to show him the vibe rather than explain it. He carefully put his hand on Oliver’s shoulder and showed him the vision he’d seen.

 

That made the archer's brows furrowed in confusion. He didn’t have any memory of this, and that was saying something because Oliver had quite the memory. So if he didn’t remember this… it was possible that this was a memory from their previous timeline, from before Barry Changed it.

 

He recalled the look he’d seen on his face when Barry leaned against him. That was a look he hadn’t recalled in a long time.

 

Was he in love with Barry in this other timeline?

 

Oh….  _ oh no. _

 

If he was in love with the speedster in this other timeline, that meant… his initial confrontation with Barry… when he punched him and called him a mon...monster…

 

No wonder Barry had been as broken as he was after that. He felt there was more to this story, but whatever it was probably wasn’t good.

“Cisco… until we can get more information on this vibe… let’s just keep it between me and you.”

 

It wasn’t a question. It was an order. Oliver wasn’t sure how he felt about the speedster at this moment. He didn’t hate him like he initially felt, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t angry with him. But with this new vision and the fact that he and Barry may have been… closer- in their previous timeline, meant he needed to figure more out before he shared this with team Flash.  It may not even be useful in their search to find Barry, so there was no point in divulging in pointless information that wasn’t going to help him find Barry. Not only that but… Oliver wanted to know more about his relationship with Barry in this previous timeline… He knew it was kind of a far stretch… but he did feel like something was missing… and after Barry revealed that he’d change the timeline… it seemed to make sense. But that still left him with the question of what he’d do if they-  _ when _ they got Barry back? How would he go about this? Barry still had the memories of this other timeline.

 

What if his evil counterpart used this against Barry?

 

“Will you help me try to figure out more about this vibe?”

 

Cisco looked at the blonde archer before nodding “Yeah… But we should head back up to the cortex before the others get worried.”

 

Oliver nodded and the two made their way back up to the cortex. Cisco taking one last nostalgic look at the speed room before finally disappearing through the door.


	9. Just An Author’s note

Hey guys! Don’t worry, the story is not going on hiatus, yea the chapters are being posted a lot slower than they used to but work plus highschool plus woking on getting ready for college and all the other stuff has kinda paused my wroting ability for a bit but the other author and I are working on it.

This is just an update. I have come to realize that the first chapter got deleted or something happened. I think I fixed the problem, I edited the first couple of chapters so hopefully that fixed it! Just comment if something is still wrong. I think I fixed it though. Hopefully the story flows better now!-Multifandom


End file.
